we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize