Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize