No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
