He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I am full of burrito and curiosity
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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