I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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