I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
