when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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