I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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