Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
