So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
