before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
foreskin is a definite game changer
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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