When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
