do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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