The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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