for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
