i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
