You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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