Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im holly from the hills drunk
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
