Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize