i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
