Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
