At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she smelled like a LAN party
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
