she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Randomize
