i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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