The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
