I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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