I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
