is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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