I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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