I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
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She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
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My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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