her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize