Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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