How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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