I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
