I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
