Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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