I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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