i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
