I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Randomize
