you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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