Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
