It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
