I want to walk on stilts...naked
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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