4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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