you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
