You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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