Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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