Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
