I'm really into asian looking animals
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
