I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I believe in your delicious
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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