I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
