After last night, I could never be a politician.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
