mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
