I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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