just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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